My post about whether it is okay to accept money from parents generated some thoughtful – and some angry – comments. So far 134 readers voted in the poll:
- 31 percent would accept money from parents only as a last resort
- 25 percent would do it if it made sense
- 19 percent regularly accept money/in-kind gifts from parents
- 16 percent would never take parental cash
- 7 percent have taken money in the past but don’t plan to again
Reader A resisted judging the situation:
Honestly, I think this is a very loaded topic and can’t easily be summarized in a quick and easy pick on an online poll. There are so many variables that factor into the decision or reality of accepting money from your parents — are you responsible with money yourself? are you parents actually not doing you a service by offering it to you? if eventually they are going to have a few million left when they die, might it be better for them to gift to you over time and now when it could be more helpful? are they giving equally to all the kids in the family? how does your spouse/partner feel about the gifts? I hope everyone realizes that it’s way more complicated a discussion than a quick click of “Are you kidding me? Absolutely not” or “Sure, if it made sense.”
Reader Bob took exception to my blog post, which also ran in the New Jersey Star-Ledger.
The fact that this title even made it into the business section sums up how bad entitlement issues to our children – of all ages – has become. Julia – How about writing an article titled “There’s no shame in moving into a more affordable neighborhood”, “There’s no shame in working a 2nd Job”, “There’ no shame in skipping a vacation”, or “There’s no shame in eating at home on Saturday nights”.
Blakely had a different take:
My inlaws paid for a cruise for my husband and I last year. This trip included my brother-in-law and girlfriend who couldn’t have gone in my inlaws had not paid. My husband had no problem accepting it.
I do believe most of us have accepted help/large gift from our parents at one time or another in our adult life. I think the problem comes when it becomes habitual instead of an occational thing.
Reader Myke says borrowing from parents is the way to go:
When my parents were alive I did deal with “HOME SAVINGS”. When I bought my car they loaned me money. I made up a payment schedule which included interest – usually the mid-point between what the bank wanted for the car loan and what my parents could get for their money leaving it in the bank. It was a win-win situation for both of us. I repaid every cent on time.
If you can’t live on what you make you may need to scale down your lifestyle and expectations. What will you do when your parents are dead and you are stuck paying for a funeral. It will be a very rude awakening for you when you have no inheritance to supplement your spending because you used it all up while your parents were still alive.
Remember, if your parents use up their savings cushion, they may have to move in with YOU!!!
Jenni P. hopes her parents won’t have to borrow from her:
The problem with our society (and why so many readers identify with BB’s website premise of saving money where we can) is that we tend to live beyond our means. My in-laws are in that category, trying to retire but not able to afford their lifestyle if they do. Their “golden” years will be a downsizing event of huge proportions. Their daughter is angry that very little money will be left for her to inherit. I’m not: as long as we don’t end up paying for THEM, we’ll all be happy.
My grandmother could copy a pattern from a dress she tried on in the store and she sewed many of her children’s clothes. The sewing gene skipped my mother (by forceable choice) and landed in me. At least, it tried to.
Two months ago I decided to make my own curtains as part of a project to re-decorate my bedroom. When a coupon for 50 percent off at Jo-Anns fabric store landed in my inbox, I was raring to go. I even had a few dollars on a gift card to apply.
I arrived at the store and was delighted to see nearly everything was on sale by 40 – 50 percent off. I could save my coupon for a regular-priced bolt of material and get other items at a steep discount, too.
I carefully searched the aisles of fabric for the perfect material and discovered wonderful terry cloth for towels that you can buy at a fraction of what the finished product costs at Macy’s or Target. Bath sheets for $5.99 a yard? Sign me up! I also spotted fuzzy flannel for $4.99 a yard. New sheets in no time!
Then I came upon the most steeply marked down fabrics in the store: the discount rack. Some of the material was down right fugly, other pieces were damaged. One bolt was irresistible. For $12.50 (orig. $24.99), I could buy one yard of heaven – a cream-colored piece of suede-lined, fuzzy sherpa goodness. My plan was to turn the material into two pillow coverings. (Pillow insides were 50 percent off, sealing the deal).
I purchased the sherpa material along with 11 yards of brown suede (40 percent off) to make curtains. I ran out of brown thread shortly after starting the curtains so I turned my attention to the pillows. I made as few cuts as possible (reducing my chances of error) and got to work sewing a cozy three-sided enclosure for my pillow, top. On the fourth side I sewed on three buttons, above right (simpler than a zipper, I reasoned).
The material was difficult to work with because it is very thick and the fuzz got caught in the string many times. I didn’t run out of thread, but I did run out of time so the project stretched from Friday night to Sunday afternoon. Overall I spent $25.50 (and forgot to use my gift card 
) to buy two pillows and the pillow cover material. I devoted five hours over three days to completing one pillow.
A waste of time? Me thinks not. The process was very entertaining and I renewed my appreciation for sewers, quilters, and knitters. As for making towels and sheets? I may just wait for a great sale at Target.
Sewing lessons:
- Measure thrice, cut once
- If you don’t have pins to hold material in place, needles will do
- You can undo a lot of stitches, but it’s a total pain in the a**
- Sewing straight lines is actually very difficult
- Lumps mean it was made with love
Zooopreme/Flickr
I’ve gushed before about how cool of a magazine ShopSmart is. The no-ad publication is put out by Consumer Reports so it’s trustworthy and it is geared towards savvy-spenders. When it arrives in my mailbox it’s a little bit of heaven.
The March 2010 issue has a cool story (p. 7) on making new jeans look worn-in. Did you know distressing jeans is a huge part of the cost of designer denim? I didn’t. ShopSmart has s number of tips to get a worn-in designer jean look, which I’ve summarized below:
1. Soften your new jeans by washing them several times with fabric softener and a clean pair of tennis shoes.
2. Don’t over do it. Wear your new jeans around the house to see where they naturally crease, then emphasize those lines with the tricks below. Seams on the side, back pockets, and knees are natural wear spots.
3. If you use bleach, put a layer of plastic wrap in the leg so you don’t get mirror bleach spots on the other side. Place a block of wood other other durable material inside the leg to protect the rest of the fabric.
4. Sandpaper will create a “fuzzy effect” when you rub it on the denim. A pumice stone is also a good tool to wear down spots. A cheese grater will do greater damage, creating rips and snags. Test a small patch, look at the effect, and work slowly.
5. Snip the hem and pocket edges with small scissors to create a frayed look.
6. Change the color of your jeans by lightening with small amounts of bleach (apply with a rag or sponge, ShopSmart says). Or you can darken for a “dirty” look with fabric dye, such as Rit or strong coffee.
7. If you’re not sure what distressed look you want, flip through magazines, fashion websites, or take pictures of jeans you see in stores.
This sounds like such a fun project! I can’t wait to try it on my next pair of jeans. On second thought, I may try some of these techniques on older pairs of jeans that I don’t care much about, then apply my new skills to a new pair.
This could also be a great project for a teen who wants jeans that are 100 percent unique.
soapylovedeb/Flickr
I have an intense itch to make my own soap, partly because my past attempts to clean with vinegar and baking soda were so successful. If I can make my own cleaning products for less that work, why not?
My sister used to own a soap business so I know making bar soap is a huge ordeal that involved vats of olive oil and lye, a dangerous chemical.
But there is another option. Laundry detergent, which I am also low on. My friend Matt Jabs of FiveCentNickel made his own laundry detergent and reports “I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW INCREDIBLY FAST & EASY IT WAS.” (His caps, not mine.)
Matt’s recipe calls for 55 ounce box of Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda, a 76 ounce box of 20 Mule Team Borax, and 10 pack of 4.5 ounce bars of Ivory Bar Soap (or another cheap bar soap.)
I plan to add a few drops of essential lavender oils to give my clothes a nice scent. I hope to pick up these ingredients later this week and will let you know how my first soap-making adventure goes!
Loading ...UPDATE: Reader Pauline recommends an alternative to Ivory:
The best soap to use is Fels Naphta, a bit more expensive but worth it. Where does Matt purchase the Washing Soda? Thanks
Rabbi Wendy has a great tip for home made cleaners.
The most amazing and effective book of recipes for household products is “Clean House, Clean Planet” by Karen Logan. It is still in print, with plenty of copies on Amazon. The recipe for spray cleaner on page 85 is the best spray cleaner I’ve ever used, hands down. Logan is so thorough in her explanations. She even sells bottles for the finished products. It’s a fun read, even if you don’t make any of the cleaning products. Check it out!
I went ahead and checked Amazon, which has Clean House, Clean Planet for $10.76 (orig. $15). I might buy it if my library does not have it.
SECOND UPDATE: Susan warns:
I made this detergent a few months ago, a word of caution, my dark purple towels faded a little using it. I now use it for whites and light colors but not black or really dark colors. Also the arm and hammer super washing soda is sold at Albertson’s. It is the only place around the valley I could find it.
i yudai/Flickr
Consumer Reports just updated their sales calender showing when is the best time to buy about 55 items like cars, clothes, furniture, and more. February includes houses and condos, humidifiers, indoor furniture, treadmills and elliptical machines.
Consumer Reports also shares these tips, which don’t fit so well into the monthly lists.
“Airline tickets tend to be least expensive to buy on Tuesday afternoon through Thursday. Worst days to fare shop are Saturday and Sunday.
“CDs and DVDs generally come out on Tuesdays and might be on sale for the first one to three weeks.
“Jewelry sales are common, except around Valentine’s Day and the December holidays. So plan to buy early or hope that your beloved will settle for an IOU.”
One of my favorite coupon bloggers, Bargain Briana, has put together a map of frugal bloggers across the country. You can use it to find a blogger near you who shares coupon matches, freebies, and saving tips.
Right now there are 35 bloggers listed in 19 states, including AR, AZ, CA, FL, GA, KS, KY, IL, IN, MD, MI, MO, OH, PA, RI, TN, TX, VA, WI. Gasp! BargainBabe.com is not listed! Just a minute folks…I’m adding myself right now.
Beyond finding a blogger that writes about stores in your neighborhood, you can look at an RSS feed of blog posts from everyone in the network, connect with individal bloggers on Twitter and Facebook, and embed the map on your site.
The Frugal Map is a great idea. I wish I had done it myself!
viZZual.com/Flickr
I was shopping with a girlfriend who at the end of our jaunt checked the time and said “I hope I didn’t get a parking ticket!”
“How much money did you put in the meter,” I asked.
“36 minutes.”
I tried to hide my scowl. I hoped for her sake that she didn’t get a ticket, but I was exasperated that she had not forked over one or two extra quarters for peace of mind.
We reached her car. Phew, no ticket. I hugged my friend goodbye and walked onto my car, where the patient meter read 45 minutes. At a dollar an hour, I had put in $.75 extra.
My friend had gotten away with paying less for parking and I couldn’t help but wonder if my $.75 a waste – or a wise investment? Is it always financially savvy to overfeed the meter? Or is it wiser to save my coins and risk getting a ticket?
I did one calculation to figure it out.
1. Say you park at a meter once a week and put in an extra 45 minutes – $.75 on many Los Angeles meters – each time. That means you are putting in an extra $39 a year ($.75 x 52 weeks). If a parking tickets costs $40, that means you can overfeed the meter for an entire year and still come up ahead (by $1).
But how often do you get caught for under feeding? I guesstimate that the meter maid catches me about one in 10 times I underfeed. If I underfed a meter once a week for a year, I would save that $39 in extra quarters but end up with five parking tickets, one every 10 weeks. (If you think you get caught more often or less often by the meter maid, then change how many tickets per year you would receive.) At $40 each my tickets would total $200, a net loss of $161.
Clearly, it makes a lot of sense to generously overpay the meter.
Run this calculation for your hometown meter and ticket prices using this formula:
the cost of putting an extra 45 minutes in the meter x 52 weeks = yearly cost of over feeding the meter
the cost of five parking tickets in your hometown – yearly cost of over feeding = how much you can save by over feeding
UPDATE: Reader Mira says:
In Long Beach, tickets are $44!! It takes A LOT of extra coins pumped in to get to that amount! (Like 660!! 440 nickels + 220 dimes!) Don’t chance it. I find I don’t need to add 45 extra minutes, even 12 or 15 extra minutes gives a nice cushion — depends on what you’re doing that day.
somethingstartedcrazy/Flickr
BargainBabe.com really is a group effort. This latest tip comes from my little brother!
I had to charge my phone for a couple of hours, so I went to the T -mobile store and saw the price of the charger (24 dollars). I only needed the charger for a day so I started talking about how much my situation sucked and the lady at the store said I could charge my phone at the store for free.
Not bad, John! I like going to Costco and Len’s Crafters for their free eye glass cleanings!
Readers who have previously chided my ocassionally crass language, hold back. This post is not intended for minors or the faint at heart.
I couldn’t resist grabbing “Bitches on a Budget” from my patient stack of books waiting for a review. But does the book has as much sass as the title? Yes.
Rosalyn Hoffman opens her 322-page book with this essential question. How do you live a stylish life during the greatest economic downturn of your generation? No matter that the recession is technically over. Budget woes continue. And women rule the pocketbook. Here’s how Chapter 1 starts:
Bitches, we’re going to let you in on a secret: Women might only make $.78 for every $1 men make, but we’re the ones who drive the economy. We’re the ones who decide what to buy and when to buy it. You think we’re kidding? Just turn on the television. It’s talking to you, bitch. And even when it’s not – Rogaine and boner pills – it’s still about you!
Rosalyn gives budgeting a good name (it’s just another way to say edit, really), and attempts to do the same for what seems to be her favorite b-word. She writes about shopping, grooming, staying healthy, mental health, travel, cars, entertainment, entertaining and home decorating, food, and pets in her over-the-top girlfriend no you di-ent hand-waving, finger-snapping voice.
In other words, she makes saving money really entertaining. What more can you ask for?
Comment on this post for a chance to win my review copy. Or, you can pick it up at Amazon for $10.20 (orig. $15).
I’ve been redecorating my bedroom this past week and in the process I have been hunting for rugs, bookshelves, paint, and much more. Here are 10 places to look for frugal or free items.
1. Your garage. Chances are you have a few half-full cans of paint or a funky old lamp that would add personality to your room. Perhaps you can transform a boring old piece into something new and exciting with a coat of paint.
2. Join your local Freecycle Network to get rid of your trash and collect other people’s treasure. Plus, you’ll feel good keeping items out of landfills.
3. Craigslist free pages. It’s amazing what people will give away. Their for-sale prices can be great, too!
4. Home Depot. I spent $9 building a bookshelf out of cinderblocks, above. Now to secure it to my wall. UPDATE: A friend helped me drill two brackets into each shelf, making the bookshelf much more sturdy.
5. IKEA. Some of the best deals at IKEA are on the ground floor and not heavily advertised. They sell sturdy planks of wood for $15 each and the wall mounts are a few bucks each (about $3). This allows you to customize storage space for very cheap!
6. Borrow or rent tools. Surely you know another home owner who’s itching to loan their tile saw in hopes they’ll never see it again!
7. Garage sales. Head to sales in upscale neighborhoods and the hipster parts of town for the best and most unique selection.
8. Thrift shops like Goodwill, Out of the Closet, and Salvation Army do not lack for furniture and furnishings. Just make sure to thoroughly check out the items as they are not usually returnable.
9. eBay. Review seller ratings and return policies carefully.
10. Recycling centers/reuse groups. These can be harder to find, but major metro areas usually have a handful of organizations that re-sell used windows, doors, and other building materials.
I like to laugh, and I bet you do too. Which is why I’m digging Secrets of a Stingy Scoundrel. I can tell this book is funny from the Table of Contents, which makes me like it even more.
Chapter 1. All the free t-shirts, hats, squeeze bottles and hip sacks a man could ever want. How to clothe yourself by signing up for on-the-street credit-card promotions.
Chapter 5. Don’t smoke. That’s it. Just don’t become addicted to cigarettes, you moron.
Chapter 14. Kids eat free. Let your bottomless-pit stomached rugrats punish foolish restaurants.
Chapter 18. Art of the well-timed fight/breakfup. Why you should save your big fights for just before holidays and birthdays.
Are you giggling as much as me? Okay, then. I’ll just share one more.
Chapter 19. Things you never ever have to buy. Napkins, mustard and ketchup packets, and straws – the best things in life are free.
And on till Chapter 100. Each chapter is two or three pages long, so it moves along quickly. And the paper is really nice with curved corners so it feels like a luxurious read. The illustrations by cartoonist Adam Wallenta are also pretty cool.
Here’s an excerpt from Chapter 16: Yay WNBA, that illustrates how sassy and cheap the author, Phil Villarreal, is. Phil is a contributing editor at Consumerist and a reporter for the Arizona Daily Star. His personal blog is called Because I Told You So.
As you flip through the newspaper sports section or watch SportsCenter, it’s common to wonder, “Why the hell does the WNBA exist? The answer is twofold. One is to provide a role model for young girls, teaching them that basketball isn’t as pointless as softball or soccer and could actually pay off if they work hard enough. Never mind that most players make less than your garbageman. The other reason is to provide silver-bullet dates for horny young men looking to pretend they’re evolved and sophisticated.
It’s the second purpose of existence we’ll focus on here.
While the average real NBA ticket price is about $50, the average WNBA admission is less than $15, meaning you won’t have to sell your spleen on the black market in order to afford a game, parking, and a soda.
Volunteering to go to women’s athletic events elevates you to heroic status in the eyes of your potential beloved. All their lives, athletic-minded ladies have had their endeavors belittled and marginalized by even the men they love the most, but you emerge as a white knight who appears to actually take an interest in girls’ meaningless sporting pursuits. You can boost your credibility by reading up on the teams involved so you can toss of little inside-baseball-ish tidbits as you watch the game unfold. And because the tickets cost so little, you won’t even need to wince when she orders at the concession stand.
Got you hooked? I highly recommend this book if you like to save money, have a sense of humor, or are looking for a gift for someone who is frugal.
Contest! Comment on the blog by Friday for a chance to win my dog-eared copy of Secrets of a Stingy Scoundrel!!!! I hate to part with it, but I’m too stingy to buy another copy!
UPDATE: This comment from Kelsey makes an important point.
Some funny stuff. The frugality doesn’t bother me – but if I was dating a guy who faked an interest in “girl’s meaningless sporting pursuits”, I’d dump the a—hole. Is that why the author calls himself a “scoundrel”?
SECOND UPDATE: I told the “Scoundrel” author about all the readers who wanted to win his book and asked for additional copies to satisfy demand! So keep on commenting and maybe he’ll send me some more!
THIRD UPDATE: The publisher just emailed to say he is sending TWO more copies. So I have three to give to readers who comment on the blog by Friday. The most interesting and insightful comments will win!
A science blog at the NY Times surveyed people about being a spendthrift v. being a tightwad and got very interesting results. (Spendthrift = person who spends recklessly, tightwad = person who doesn’t spend even when they should)
The researchers say they’re not sure just how prevalent tightwads and spendthrifts in the general population, but they did identify significant patterns among the tightwads and spendthrifts in their study:
* Men have a harder time spending money. Women are no more likely to be spendthrifts than tightwads, whereas men are nearly three times more likely to be tightwads than spendthrifts.
* Whether they find spending money painful has a much greater impact on the shopping behavior of men than of women. Women are more likely to take other factors into account when shopping, such as the extent to which spending is expected to be ‘therapeutic.’ As a result, the spending differences between male tightwads and male spendthrifts are generally much greater than the spending differences between female tightwads and female spendthrifts.
* Respondents in their 20s are more likely to be spendthrifts than any of the older age groups, and respondents over 70 are more likely to be tightwads than any younger age group. “Longitudinal research is needed,” the researchers write, “to determine whether this pattern reflects the effects of growing up in different generations, or instead whether people generally move toward the tightwad end of the continuum as they age.”
Naturally, I wanted to take the survey myself. It took me 15 minutes and asked questions I expected – about my shopping habits – and those I didn’t – like whether I have a will and how many incandescent light bulbs I have at home. Um, okay?!
I’m still waiting for my results. In the meantime, you can take the survey, or read a 15-page paper about the study in the Journal of Consumer Research. Here’s the blog post on the NY Times science blog about the survey results.
I was watching a young woman juggle six pins on the street when she paused her act to tell us she was a UCLA student trying to make ends meet. It occurred to me that everyone, everyone, was doing something extra to survive.
Here was this talented girl hustling for a few extra bucks. She wasn’t a polished entertainer – too self conscious and meek – but her day’s haul would pay for next semester’s books. If she bought used.
I started to think of the things I have done to save (read: fight the fear I won’t have enough money).
In June I babysat. In July I went on a spending moratorium. This month I am planning to cover my bicycle seat in duct tape so I don’t have to buy a new one.
No one will say this, but I know what they are thinking.
“Really? You’re not even going to spend $35 on a new seat?”
“No. Why should I when can I do it myself with materials I already own?”
Call me frugal, self-reliant, or financially hyper-efficient. Or a cheapskate hoarding her dollars while the economy shrivels.
But I would rather annoint my beater bike with a homemade silver seat than lose $35 for one that matches everyone else’s.
What are you doing to stay ahead? Leave a comment or share a photo.
I said farewell to my spending moratorium a few hours early on Friday, July 31 with $.35 cocktails and free mini-grilled cheese sandwiches at the Edison. It was definitely one of the best happy hours I’ve been to and very schmancy. Short dresses and heels were standard.
Since my July spending moratorium is done, I’ve been spending a LOT. In just four days I’ve racked up a $230. 23 tab for coffee, lunch out, postage, cash, candy, beer, gas, groceries, and tips. But some of my moratorium habits have stuck with me.
- One of the most challenging things about the moratorium was eating on the go. Not being able to buy a quick meal, I started packing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, which don’t have to be refrigerated for a few hours. This saved me so much money – and time – that I still pack pb & j when I’m going to need a meal on the road.
- Go the distance for free/cheap parking. I popped into a parking garage yesterday and gagged at the rates – $2.50 for 12 minutes. IN. SANE. I drove two blocks and found meters for $1 an hour. It’s almost silly how close free/cheap parking is from overpriced garages. Drive a few blocks towards the outskirts – don’t circle the main drag – and you’ll be surprised at your options. It’s worth the walk.
If you joined me in the moratorium, how did you do?
1. Being brand loyal. We like loyal dogs, but sticking to one brand hinders sales! You don’t want to pay full price, do you?
2. Failing to anticipate need. Buying ahead of need when things are on sale is the savvy policy. Just make sure you’ll use the item before its shelf life expires.
3. Using dial-up or having no Internet access at home. The Internet is basically useless these days if you have dial-up. You can’t watch videos or read pages with many pictures, which just about every website has these days. High-speed connections cost about $35-$40 a month in my neck of the woods, which you can make back by reading newspapers and magazines online, printing coupons, signing up for the email lists of your favorite airlines and travel sites, watching TV online, and so much more.
4. Buying a new car instead of a car that is new to you. Consumer Reports crunched the numbers and made a pretty chart showing the best used car deals. In the first few years, vehicles across categories dropped in price between 20 and 75 percent. What a deal!
5. I’m leaving this one open for you to add! What is the top quality or behavior that makes someone an unsavvy spender?
Related:
Benefits of saving habits that make you look poor (SavingAdvice.com)
KNTV in Las Vegas identifies three top money-wasting habits
50 habits that will leave you eating ALPO for dinner (MySuperChargedLife)
FreeMoneyFinance lists 15 things we overpay for
