Bargain Hubby with Simba
This is a post I never wanted to write, but coming clean seems the best thing to do. I’m writing this post because it no longer makes sense to hide the fact that my husband and I are getting divorced. In the past I have shared stories from my personal life – how I went from jazz to journalism and why I don’t blog on Sept. 11 – but sharing my heartbreak and his had no place on BargainBabe.com. Until now.
I moved out almost a year ago after months – no years – of thinking, and talking, and crying. Day by day, as I examined what had always been in front of me, I realized Bargain Hubby and I were on one path, and I wanted to be on another. So I packed my things and left.
Starting anew was sad and overwhelming. I am lucky to have a very supportive family and friends who talked and hugged me through each day. More importantly, I am lucky to have married a man who remained as generous and open-hearted in separation as he was in marriage.
I said a private goodbye to Bargain Hubby a few days before my move to Rhode Island and asked him if he had any thoughts on how – if at all – to tell BargainBabe.com readers that we were getting divorced.
“How about an ‘Ode to Hubby’post?” he said. How about it.
Here is a short list of the many things my husband Andrew taught me. Thank you, Andrew, for many wonderful years. I will remember them fondly.
- Have fun everyday.
- Learn how to fight fairly.
- Ordering the best dish on the menu is an art. (I’m still learning.)
- Pull over and watch the sunset. It’s worth it.
- Call muggins when playing cribbage no matter who your opponent is, including your wife the sore loser.
- Experiment in the kitchen.
- Think twice before you trash something. (A dirty black poncho doubled as a rain tarp more times than I can recall; wires can make anything happen around the house.)
- Give hugs liberally.
- Bring another jacket. (I always get cold.)
- Ultimate Frisbee really is the greatest sport ever invented by man.
- Accept your love for who they are and don’t try to change them. If you can’t, you are setting the relationship up for failure.
- Being with someone who always wants to dance, and I mean always, really is wonderful.
- Believe in yourself. You are a star.
UPDATE: Thank you, dear readers, for your wonderfully supportive comments. I am touched.
Katie Tegtmeyer/Flickr
I’m taking the rest of the week off and Monday to move to the biggest little state in the union. Yep, I’m headed for Rhode Island. I never thought I’d live on the East Coast again, but my life has changed dramatically in the past 12 months. I’m taking advantage of my very portable job – I can work anywhere there is a high-speed Internet connection – to be closer to someone I love.
I will still write BargainBabe.com, with fantastic contributions from Yazmin and Bobbi, and blog for WalletPop.com (check daily for new coupons). What will change is my perspective. I expect to write more about stews and comfort food in the winter, for example, and pay closer attention to mitten sales.
I’m going to need your help getting through the summer, too. I’ve never lived in anything but a mega city, and I’m worried living in my new, smallish town is going to be a shock – culturally and financially.
Adjusting means getting to know my local thrift stores, finding the nearest farmer’s market, looking for a discount movie theater, bookmarking the bus and train schedule, and applying for a library card.
What do you look for in a new place to adjust and save money?
If you’d like to watch a news video from the 1980s about my soon-to-be home state, click below. The theme song is catchy. Rhode Island! Rhode Island!
Mike Licht/NotionsCapital.com
I’m in Colorado at the Savvy Blogging Summit and met one of the biggest personal finance bloggers tonight, J.D. Roth of Get Rich Slowly. He is younger and funnier than I imagined. Also, he likes to read books in the bathtub and is a cat fanatic. J.D. has been a blogger for 13 years and shared six blogging secrets.
- be yourself
- tell stories
- assume nobody is reading your blog (write freely) and that everyone is reading your blog (even “anonymous” blogs can hurt people)
- have fun
- do what works for you
- become a good writer and continue honing your skills (J.D. recommended If you want to write, by Brenda Ueland)
The conference is two days, Friday and Saturday. Sessions will cover writing, media, monetization, SEO, and a lot of other interesting topics (at least to bloggers). I already got one great idea for a new type of post that I hope to make a regular feature.
I’ve never seen a dog get so excited about going on a walk as Bella. She gets air in this 47-second video. Pets are very entertaining!
Note: this video has nothing to do with saving money, it’s just fun.
newyorkinsider/Flickr
If you are looking to grow your business, reinvent yourself at 50, or bring out the best in your children, consider applying to be in a new video series with Barbara Corcoran, real estate mogul (pictured above). The video series will appear on AOL and WalletPop.com, which I blog for, and address these ten topics:
- Presenting yourself in the best light (Dress & Public Speaking)
- Developing Your Company’s Vision / How to Brand
- Adept Hiring (and Adept Firing)
- Doing Your Homework for meetings
- Recognizing When to Move On
- Starting Up Pitfalls
- Bringing Out the Best in your Children
- How to Blow Up Your Business in the Blogosphere
- Creating Robust Partnerships
- Reinventing Yourself at 50
As the “real person” in the video, you’ll ask a question that Barbara will answer. Each video will be between 5 and 7 minutes long. If you are in NY, you can go into AOL’s studio or you can appear via Skype. The folks producing the series are looking for a mix of men and women from around the country who may be small business owners, workers with a dream, or people trying to make a living and have a life.
If you are interested, please send the following information to walletpopbc@gmail.com.
Name
Address
Employment situation (employed, self-employed, stay-at-home-mom, etc.)
Internet Connection and webcam availability (and Skype name)
Email and phone
Question you’d like to ask
inju/Flickr
This post has nothing to do with saving money but it’s awfully funny. Thanks to reader Glenn for submitting this collection of unfortunate newspaper headlines.
No crap, really? Ya think?
Now that’s taking things a bit far!
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What a guy!
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No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so’s!
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See if that works any better than a fair trial!
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Okay folks, here’s the scoop. My photo shoot with Better Homes and Gardens yesterday was the real deal! I’ve been flooded with questions from readers and friends about the experience so I’ve compiled answers to the most frequently asked questions (and a few I made up).
Q: Were you actually in a magazine photo shoot?
A: Fo shiz. (See above.)
Q: Did you get to keep the clothes?
A: No, sadly. All the clothes, shoes, and accessories I wore were samples on loan from various clothes makers, which make advance copies of fashions then show them off to retailers, who submit orders. None of the stuff I wore is for sale right now, but when the magazine comes out in July the clothes will be in stores and the outfits will look fresh!
Q: What was the shoot like?
Insane. Surreal. Tons of fun. The whole thing was like something you’d see on TV. There was a hair stylist named Mitch that made my hair curly in a few snips. When he blew it out I was rockin’ the original Charlie’s Angels look! Anthea the makeup stylist shared her drugstore make up secrets while doing me up. The before and after pictures are remarkable!
After getting my hair and make up done, I was a dress up toy for a stylist named Jonny and his assistant (see me and Jonny at right). “Try this on,” he’d say. I put it on. “Oh no, that’s not right.” I take it off. “Try this on,” he’d say. I put it on. “That’s cute but not right.” I take it off. “Try this…”
When he was satisfied with the skirt or dress, we’d move onto tops, then jackets/sweaters, necklackes, bracelets, and shoes. You don’t know how many pairs of shoes I tried on!
Q: Tell me more about the shoes.
A: Well, okay. There were dozens of pairs all lined up. Mostly heels but some flats. Strappy, peep toe, classic pumps, espadrilles, platforms, you name it. I tried on a lot of pairs because they were so cute!
Q: Did they plan the outfits ahead of time?
A: No, but they borrowed dozens of dresses, skirts, tops, jackets, sweaters, and shorts from Talbots, Banana Republic, Ali Ro, Old Navy, Nautica, and others that fit the theme of the issue, which comes out in July. There was a lot of red, white, and blue, folks.
Q: Did all the clothes fit?
A: No! A lot of them were too small or too big.
Q: How do they make everything fit perfectly, then?
A: Pins! “Now you know why everything fits in a magazine,” the stylist, Jonny, said to me. “Because it’s all pinned.” (He’s fixing something on my top below.) Once clothes were pinned I couldn’t bend down so they put my shoes on for me. Bizarre.
Q: Did you get naked on set?
A: No, there was a make-shift changing area with fake walls and a few racks of clothes that I changed in. At first, Jonny and his assitant Becky left every time they asked me to put something on, but pretty soon I was stripping down to my undies and bra in front of them. I didn’t care, and there were so many outfits to try on!
Q: What happened after they dressed you?
A: The stylist and his assistant would lead me onto the set, where the main stylist for the magazine, a gorgeous woman named Amy, would give her approval (actually, once she sent us back for an outfit that was too immature). A photographer and his assistant would fiddle with the lights, the hair stylist would run on set to fluff my hair, and the make up stylist would freshen my lip gloss. Then the photographer would say, “We’re ready,” and start taking pictures of me.
Q: Did someone really come on set and fluff your hair?
A: Yes, about 72 times. Mitch always wanted to make my hair look better. You can tell we had a lot of fun, below.
Q: Was everyone a total fashion snob a la Devil Wears Prada?
A: No, everyone was super friendly and made me feel at home.
Q: What did your set look like?
A: A super cool version of my office with a sleek Mac laptop (I used a Dell), a clear chair (at home mine is on loan from the dining room table), and a fashion manequin (um, I suppose this correlates to my faded red courdorouy chair).
Q: Did they feed you?
A: Yes. The shoot was catered and the food was uber-healthy: yogurt, berries, and OJ when I arrived at 9:30. Lunch was spinach salad, asparagus soup, sauteed brocolli, veggie patties, and duck over beets and grains. I didn’t dare touch the flourless chocolate cake before squeezing into the clothes, but I did have ice cream to celebrate after dinner.
Q: When can we see the pictures?
A: Check out the July issue of Better Homes and Gardens!
Q: So you’re like, famous now?
A: No. I’m still my old self. And tomorrow I will go back to writing about saving money. I promise!
Supersentido/Flickr
Two weeks ago an editor from Better Homes and Gardens emailed me. Would I be interested in being their Style section’s “real woman” for an upcoming issue? It would involve a stylist picking out clothes for me, someone doing my hair, another person doing my make up, and a photographer taking my pictures.
Um, yesssssssss.
So last night I flew to New York City and spent the night at the Holiday Inn on someone else’s dime.
Is this really my life?
Apparently so because today I’m wearing my cutest wintry outfit (it’s like, 34 here!) so that I will look fashionable before I change into two outfits selected by a man whom I have never met. He knows my bra size, but nothing else.
Here’s what I’m wearing (before I have to take my clothes off):
Purple-gray courdorouy mini-skirt worn over black tights and fishnets (the studio where we are doing the shoot is down the street so I won’t get cold)
My super comfy black cowboy boots
A V-neck top that has black and gray stripes under a thin black V-neck wrap
My sister’s black leather motorcycle jacket (which is awesome except the zipper needs to be fixed)
A thick wooden bracelet my Dad made with thin leather bracelets from Africa, and a doubled up strand of purple fresh-water pearls
Black scarf
Wish me luck. I’m a bit nervous. I hope they can photo shop out my angry spots!
It has been a year exactly since I left my steady job as a reporter at the Los Angeles Daily News and launched BargainBabe.com. I’ve published 1,012 blog posts, learned how to write a monthly business budget, and surpassed my earnings at any previous job.
Thank you to anyone who has sent me a tip, signed up for my email list, or told a friend about BargainBabe.com. You rock!
Blogging is different than any job I’ve had. I’ve learned a more diverse skill set (writing is only about 33% of what I do) and put in more hours than I expected. My income fluctuates and maintaining my focus is challenging.
But blogging satisfies me. I’ve made many new friends, been exposed to great opportunities, and am constantly learning. Through blogging I discovered my down-to-earth writing voice and re-created my career.
Coincidentally, my birthday falls near BargainBabe.com’s anniversary. Over the weekend I went dancing with girlfriends to celebrate. I was telling one friend about an upcoming business trip to New York.
“What are you going to New York for?” she asked.
“I’m going to be in a magazine shoot.”
“What?”
“A magazine shoot – for Better Homes and Gardens.”
“WHAT?”
I laughed. She hugged me.
“That’s awesome, Julia!”
“I know, I know,” I said, thinking of all the ways it could fall through.
“No, you need to stop and realize your dream is happening, Julia. Everything you set out to do, it’s happening.”
I dismissed her then. There is a lot I haven’t accomplished! But now I realize she is right. So I’m taking a moment to appreciate my success.
…
…
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Ahem. Back to work. The blog must go on!
PS. Giant, heaping, armful of thanks to Andrew, Ginna, Julie, Sean, Sarah, Aicha, my Mom, my Dad, Greg, Alex, Meital, Mariel, Steve, and Connie for your help and support.
You may have noticed there were no new blog posts yesterday. That’s because my weekend camping trip to Catalina was extended by one night when the Coast Guard didn’t let our ferry boat come pick us up Sunday. Why not? The waves were 8 feet high!
We could actually see the watery horizon was roiling – it was very windy – so we opted to take advantage of the ferry company’s hotel discount offer. A teeny tiny hotel room with two queen beds for $60. Somehow all five of us fit with our over-sized backpacks. What a bargain!
This is soooooooo worth watching, even if you hate kids. It is a 3:45 minute video of what happens when you leave a kid alone with a marshmallow.
I’m not able to embed the video, but if there’s anything you do today – watch this!
PS. Did you know if you squish a marshmallow between your fingers for long enough it turns into taffy?
This post originally appeared on the Bargain Hunter blog, which I wrote at the LA Daily News.
A lot has changed in the past eight years, but when it comes to finding bargains on September 11, I feel the same way I did last year. I cannot do my job. A few years ago I told you why and here’s that story again.
Forgive me for not posting any bargains today, the eighth anniversary of the September 11 attacks. Trying to save $3 on a sandwich or find a shoe sale seems silly and out of place today. Instead, I’m going to try to give blood, something I wasn’t able to do that day in New York.
So many people tried to donate on September 11 – we expected waves of injured people to flood the hospitals – that the blood bank was full. They turned us away.
Walking to and from the hospital everyone we passed was talking about the twin towers, you could see it on their faces and hear snips of the awful truth in their conversations.
I was stunned, like so many other people. Was it really possible those two massive buildings that stood almost twice as tall as any other building on Manhattan could collapse? But they did. I saw it from my kitchen window.
We lived on the third floor of a brick building adjacent to the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway. One of the things we loved about the apartment was its three large windows that looked onto lower Manhattan.
We had a picture perfect view. On days when the air was crisp and the sun bright under a brilliant sky – almost impossible to imagine in hazy LA – I ate my breakfast cereal in front of the window, just staring at the buildings. My own New York postcard.
September 11, 2001 was one of those gorgeous fall days. I had just started grad school at Rutgers in New Jersey and had planned to go into campus that morning. But as it turned out the CDs I needed to listen to had arrived the day before in the mail. Otherwise I would have taken the subway into Manhattan, transferring to the NJ PATH train at the World Trade Center. With the CDs at home, I slept in.
The sound of sirens finally woke me up. I got out of bed at about 9 a.m. and I remember thinking there were more sirens than usual that morning. You get used to a lot of noise living in New York City. Then I saw a trail of smoke from the first tower. I went back into the bedroom and woke up Hubby, who was then my boyfriend.
“There’s something going on,” I told him, nudging him awake.
I turned on the TV and one of the people being interviewed on the BBC was declaring this was an act of war. That seemed drastic. Maybe this was just an accident?
When the second plane hit my gut told me it wasn’t. From my window I saw the terrible gash the second plane created on the side of the building. There was a lot of smoke. You could see flames.
We tried to guess how many people might work in the two buildings. Tens of thousands, we decided.
Then the buildings collapsed. Dark, smokey clouds billowed.
I bristle when people ask me what it was like to watch. What do you think it’s like seeing thousands of people die in a few minutes? It is terrible.
But there was one part that was beautiful. After the towers collapsed – but before the wind blew a blanket of smoke and debris over Brooklyn – the brilliant sky glittered.
A sparkling arc reached like a hand over the bay from Manhattan to Brooklyn. It was incredible and I watched it for a few minutes before closing the windows so the dark air would not foul our apartment. Later I found out it was reams of freed office paper catching the sunlight.
The air cleared and we went to the hospital. We wanted to give blood, to do our part, but we couldn’t. Today I am going to try again.
Join me in giving blood today. You can find a donation center through the Red Cross by clicking here.
You may have heard about the Los Angeles wildfires, which, at 122,000 acres, is the largest ever in LA County since 1897, according to KPCC radio host Larry Mantle. This video compresses the smoke clouds that have been mushrooming over Los Angeles into a few minutes.
Thanks, Amy!
I’ll tell you the truth. I got into this mess because I had blog envy. Back then all the other reporters at my newspaper, the Los Angeles Daily News, were talking about how many hits and comments they got. I wanted a piece of the action.
I was a business reporter covering retail, real estate and whatever else came up. Basically, I wrote about money and I wanted to create a blog along those lines. I find the way people spend – and save – their money fascinating because it says so much about them.
At the time I was trying to invest my 401 (k) and absolutely HATED IT. Ug, that high finance stuff still puts me to sleep. But I loved saving money on say, a sandwich, or new top. If I loved saving money on everyday stuff, I bet a lot of other people did too.
That was the premise of my first blog, Bargain Hunter. Within a few days I was churning out 10 posts a day, avoiding assignments for print stories, and talking non-stop about blogging. Addicted? You betcha.
The Bargain Hunter was a hit and my editor asked me to write a weekly column based on the best blog posts from the past week. Hundreds and then thousands of people signed up for my daily email with that day’s deals. Universal Press Syndicate offered me a 10-year contract to syndicate the column.
Not bad for someone who studied music in college. I thought I was going to be a music writer. While earning a master’s in Jazz History and Research at Rutgers University Newark, I took a class called Arts Criticism with Terry Teachout. He is an author and drama critic for the Wall Street Journal.
I wrote reviews of plays and movies for Terry and I loved it so much I began spending more time on his assignments than the rest of my degree. I was not a good writer in college – I struggled to get a B- in English. But in Terry’s class and for the first time in my life, I controlled the words. I could put my thoughts on paper.
The next semester I took an independent study class with Robert Snyder, who heads the journalism department at Rutgers Newark. He handed me a pad of paper and told me to cover the Sept. 11 memorial in Penn Station. “You want me to, like, talk to people?” I asked him. “Yes,” he said. Nothing terrified me more.
I dragged myself out to Penn Station in New York City, found the memorial, and started talking.
“Hi, My name is Julia Scott and I’m writing about this Sept. 11 memorial for the Newark Metro. What do you think of it?”
Today my pick up line has barely changed. Neither has my bewilderment at just how many people will talk to me. That day in Penn Station busy New Yorkers took 5, 10, 15 minutes out of their day to chat with me. One woman started crying. Many opened their lives to a stranger with a notebook.
I realized that a reporter’s badge is a passport into other people’s lives. And that talking to people is a lot more interesting than listening to music.
I started putting together a portfolio of published clips with the goal of becoming a reporter. My first clips were from online websites willing to publish a complete unknown. Then I approached the monthly and weekly papers. Eventually I landed a reporting gig at the Jersey Journal, a daily newspaper.
Later I moved up to the N.J. Star-Ledger, where I contributed to stories that won the 2005 Pulitzer Prize for breaking news coverage of the resignation of then-Governor James E. McGreevey. He resigned because he had a gay affair with a staffer. My role was to stake out McGreevey’s new apartment in case he came home. I talked my way into the building and got a tour of an apartment just like McGreevey’s. Then I got kicked out.
From the Ledger I moved west to the LA Daily News, where I started the Bargain Hunter blog and column. I was flattered by the syndication offer but decided, because of a number of factors, to go off on my own. I left the paper in January and launched BargainBabe.com, which helps people save money on everyday expenses. In July, I launched a second site, BargainBabeLA.com, which uses Google maps to help Angelenos find and share local deals.
I’ve been profiled by NBC, and written about in the Washington Post, Reader’s Digest and the LA Times. I’m still a journalist, but I’m also a businesswoman. Straddling these two worlds while helping folks save money is my current passion.
No, I don’t have a brain tumor. But my friend Marla Jo, a fabulous writer at the Orange County Register, does. Or did. She had surgery recently to remove it but I didn’t find out about the whole ordeal until just now.
Marla Jo wrote about dealing with news of her tumor in a way that made me laugh. I bet you will too.
