David Berkoqitz/Flickr
I try to be open minded about how people spend their money. It’s not mine, after all. But after reading a story in yesterday’s newspaper about Panasonic and Samsung to begin selling 3D TVs this week, I am so $(#*@! frustrated.
Why does anyone need to watch TV in 3D?
It costs $500 more than a comparable set. There’s almost nothing to watch in 3D right now. (Sports will be some of the first 3D programming.) And you have to wear bulky glasses that require batteries. Batteries! If you don’t have on the special glasses, everything looks fuzzy.
America, this is not what you need to be spending your money on right now. How about paying off credit card debt? Or even – gasp – contributing to your 401k?
I’ve seen movies in 3D and it’s awesome. But I’m content to experience 3D at the movie theater. Not that I am the target consumer for 3D TVs. I watch about 17 minutes of TV a week and see roughly four movies a year. But even if you are a huge TV and movie buff, is having a 3D TV really going to improve your life? Make you happy? Dissolve all your woes?
No.
Regular TV is good enough for me. Who’s with me?
Gwenypics/Flickr
I’ve been feeling generous towards a low-income friend lately. Not that he needs any help, but I am able to give it. I’m not interested in giving this friend a loan, but I’m considering subsidizing various activities with him, like picking up the lunch tab or treating him to a movie.
The prospect of giving gifts to a friend outside of Christmas, birthdays, and special occasions makes me nervous. Is this even appropriate? Will I hurt his pride? I called etiquette expert Nancy Mitchell for tips. Here’s what she advised.
What are the rules when it comes to giving gifts to friends?
I think the number one rule is to know the friend and know how to proceed. Would the person be wiling to accept things or is the person extremely proud and you’ll have to use subterfuge?
Let’s start with the person who may be very proud and not be willing to take what they think is charity. You can call them up and say, I got a gift certificate to a restaurant or theater. I would love to have you come with me, are you available? They might not have to know you went out and bought the gift certificate yourself.
Or say, Someone gave me two tickets to the hockey game. Would you like to go? If you had a friend who had children, give child care once and a while. I’d love to babysit sometime. Can I babysit and give you an evening out? Or say ‘I’ve got too much of a certain product. Pass things on, share some of the wealth. Offer to share frequent flyer miles.
Is it ethical to give gifts like this to friends who, if they knew the whole story, would say no?
I think it is because you don’t have an ulterior motive. You are giving from your heart and you are showing great sensitivity to someone’s situation. It’s not going to hurt anyone, it’s going to help.
What are the no-nos of giving?
You would never let anyone in on the secret. It’s between you and whoever is the recipient. Because if the cat got out of the bag there could be some hard feelings.
What about if your friend is open to receiving gifts? (more…)
Is it possible to feed one person on $27 a week? That’s what reader Christiane asked me after I wrote about trimming my grocery bill on this blog and for my Friday column in the N.J. Star-Ledger. Christiane was flabbergasted.
I read your column at Star-Ledger every week with the greatest of interest. It is fantastic to see that there are people in this country conscious about their spending. But, I am amazed: $27 per week for groceries???!!!?? What do you eat and how many people do you feed for $27 per week?
And my next question would be – do you honestly like the food you buy for such little money? And does the $27 include warm dishes every day? I really cannot believe it.
I would consider myself very conscious about spending, but when it comes to groceries, unfortunately I only like the expensive stuff and I am not willing to substitute anything I like with something I don’t like. I also would never substitute fresh and healthy food with canned or otherwise prepared stuff and may face the bill later in health care costs because of unhealthy nutrition. And when you drive around to get the weekly offer in each grocery store in your area, did you consider your time and the fuel you spend on this?
I am really, really interested in what your secret is! Thank you so much for revealing it (I bet a lot of people are asking the same question)!
Best regards,
Christiane
I’m happy to share more details about my grocery habits if it helps other save!
1. I aim to feed one person (myself) on $27 a week. Some weeks I go over.
2. I eat mostly fresh food and a lot of home-cooked meals. I almost never get take out but I do occasionally graze for dinner if I don’t feel like cooking.
3. I love the food I eat! In fact, I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about what I am going to have for my next meal. I really like food.
4. Yes, my meal plan includes warm dishes everyday, though sometimes that means re-heating leftovers.
5. I eat canned food, but usually only for tomatoes, beans, and occasionally corn. I also save and clip coupons for groceries.
6. In terms of cheap v. expensive food, I seek out value. In other words, I don’t equate expensive food with quality food. There are a lot of great values at off-the-beaten path grocers, Trader Joe’s, and mainstream chains.
Tip 1: The main thing I do to keep my grocery tab down is to shop by price and quality, not by a pre-set list. For instance, instead of putting down “brocolli and asparagus,” I’ll put “vegetables-2″ on my list. Buying in season produce is usually the best bet. When I get to the store I’ll see what looks like the best values. I do the same thing for fruit and meat. Then I put together meals and snacks based on what I purchase.
Tip 2: I shop at different stores. I stock up on nuts, wine, and butter at Trader Joe’s one week, then buy fresh produce at my favorite local grocer. I try to only buy groceries one day a week, but if I run out of produce I’ll make a food run with a pre-determined spending limit of $5 or $10.
Tip 3: I try to only buy 1 or 2 bread products each week so that I eat everything before it goes bad. Instead of buying pre-made snacks I buy healthy food that makes great snacks, like nuts, fruit, or veggies and hummus.
Tip 4: I don’t buy junk food because if it’s in the house, I’ll eat it. That means no soda or pre-packaged cookies. When I break down it is to buy candy or ice cream.
Tip 5: I follow my mother’s rule on sweets: if you want cookies, make them.
Tip 6: I eat from the garden. Instead of buying orange juice I eat fresh oranges off my tree. Same with lemons, limes, herbs, and lettuces.
Tip 7: I have pantry where I can stash bargain-priced canned goods, onions, potatoes, and yams.
Tip 8: I eat starches that cost almost nothing, including potatoes, yams, and rice.
Tip 9: I get a lot of my protein from non-meat sources like beans (hummus), eggs (boiled ones make a great snack), and nuts.
That’s all I can think of for now. I hope this helps you trim your grocery list. If you have another way you cut your food bill, please leave a comment.
UPDATE: Pam shared her secret for low-cost breakfasts:
I have a cheap, healthy breakfast every day at work. I purchased big containers of oatmeal, frozen blueberries, and raisins from Costco, and a 2 lb. bag of brown sugar and wheat germ from a grocery story. Then I make my own oatmeal (it is healthier, tastier, and has less sugar) in the microwave at work. One day it is a raisin oatmeal, one day blueberries, and sometimes I’ll put in mixed oats from Trader Joe’s or a bit of cinnamon for a twist. I’ve been doing this for years, and it saves a lot of money and calories!
Speaking of buying groceries on a budget, here are seven recipes that serve four people for less than $12 per dish courtesy of BJ’s, a warehouse club on the East Coast. (If you are not near a BJ’s, check out my tips for getting Costco deals without paying for the membership.)
Guess how much each the recipe for Lemon-Chicken Bowtie Pasta costs and the person who comes closest will win a free one-year membership to BJs, valued at $45. Leave your answer as a comment on this post, on my Facebook page, or on Twitter. One guess per email, please.
The giveaway will work a bit like “The Price Is Right.” The reader whose guess comes closest to the amount without going over wins. If multiple readers guess correctly the prize goes to whoever answered first.
BJ’s has 187 locations in 15 states. Find a BJ’s near you.
Lemon-Chicken Bowtie Pasta, serves 4 at ??? price – guess for a chance to win a $45 BJ’s membership
8 oz. Barilla® Farfalle
4 Perdue® Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts (1¼ lb.)
5 Green Onions, sliced
1 clove Garlic, minced
2 Tbsp. Wesson® Canola Oil
1/ 8 tsp. McCormick® Cayenne Pepper
1½ cups Progresso® Chicken Broth
2 tsp. Grey Poupon® Dijon Mustard
¼ cup fresh Lemon Juice
White Sauce (see below)
1. Cook pasta until al dente. Drain and set aside. 2. Cut chicken
into ¾” pieces. Set aside. Heat oil in large skillet over medium high
heat. Add green onions and garlic and sauté one minute.
3. Add chicken and sauté, turning chicken occasionally until
cooked through, about 12 to 15 minutes. 4. Add pasta, toss
and set aside. 5. Adapt Basic White Sauce recipe (see previous
page): mix cayenne pepper into flour before adding. Reduce
milk by 1½ cups, substituting same amount of chicken broth.
Add chicken broth-milk mix to fl our mix per recipe instructions.
6. While sauce is still hot, whisk in mustard and lemon juice,
then immediately pour over chicken-pasta mixture; lightly toss
to mix. 7. Garnish with sliced lemon and serve immediately.
BASIC WHITE SAUCE Makes 2 cups.
Your microwave’s cooking times may vary.
Please watch carefully.
4 Tbsp. Land O’Lakes® Sweet Butter
4 Tbsp. Gold Medal® All-Purpose Flour
2 cups Milk
Salt and Black Pepper to taste
1. Melt butter on high in 1-qt., microwave-safe
bowl, about 20 to 30 seconds. 2. Stir in fl our,
using spoon to break up lumps, until smoothly
blended. 3. Add milk, salt and pepper and stir
until completely blended. 4. Microwave on high,
pausing to stir every 30 seconds or so, until sauce
is thick and bubbly, about 1 to 2 minutes.
Variation: Add 2 cups of shredded Cracker Barrel®
Sharp Cheddar Cheese and toss with cooked elbow
macaroni for mac and cheese. See pasta recipes
for more variations.
For six more recipes that feed four for less than $12, keep reading.
TheConsumerist.com
Jetblue is selling a bunch of flights from JFK for $10 each. The site was getting hammered last time I checked so give the pages time to load.
New customers can get a free photobook from Picaboo or, if you already have an account with them, there is a BOGO free coupon that is good through March 31, 2010.
Use this Gap coupon code to get jeans at 30 percent off. Just trade-in an old pair by Sunday, March 14, 2010.
Snag a bag of free dog treats from Science Diet when you share your name, email and address.
Coldwater Creek coupons! Get 20-25 percent off when you buy $100 or more. Good in stores and online.
Do you live near a Dunkin Donuts? Then get free coffee every Monday in March.
Ben & Jerry’s is selling scoops of Blond Maple for $1 today in honor of Olympic Hannah Teter. (A different flavor is pictured at right.)
Through March 8, 2010 get 30 percent off at Borders with this coupon.
Snag a free $10 gift card to Bahama Breeze, a restaurant located in 12 states.
The magazine subscription sale at Amazon has a bunch of year-long subscriptions for $7, including Good Housekeeping, Nylon, Popular Mechanics, Smart Money, and Town & Country. There are also some great magazines for $10, like Seventeen and Entertainment Weekly.
Spring fashions are 20 percent off at Old Navy online through March 4, 2010. Get the coupon code.
Get a free Uni-Ball pen when you share a little info about yourself.
Check out all the deals on my WalletPop blog.
Have you ever been laid off? Then you know what a blow it can be financially and emotionally. On BargainBabe.com I mostly deal with surviving financially, so I welcomed Harlan Kidwell, Jr.’s book on the emotional fallout of job loss. Harlan’s self-published Creative Unemployment: How To Transcend Job Loss
With so many personal stories, Creative Unemployment is cathartic.
This book offers a positive look at the potentially damaging psychological aspects of underemployment. This book is not about finding a job. It is a book about finding yourself…When you find yourself, you will find employment – a vocation – a life purpose. The issues in this book can also be useful to people who are aware or alive and still employed who want to gain the benefits of increased self-awareness before the trauma of rejection and loss of income.
Each chapter of the 284-page book begins with a 1-3 sentence description of what you’ll get out of that chapter and ends with a 1-3 page review of the major points. Chapters 1-8 are about recognizing and accepting the emotional journey that follows unemployment. Chapters 9-15 are about moving forward and taking action.
In chapter 10, Harlan breaks down the emotional journey of unemployment into six practical steps you can take to move forward.
1. Become self-aware.
2. Decide what you want.
3. Write your goals down.
4. Imagine or visualize your achieved goal. (emphasis his)
5. Take action.
6. Reflect and select.
The book’s introduction lacks sources for the statistics cited, which makes me uncomfortable. However, the point of the book is to help one heal emotionally, not provide economic figures. The nut of this touchy-feely (and I don’t mean that in a bad way) book is that it is okay to to feel how you feel, you should believe in yourself, and definitely go for it!
Leave a comment on this post by the end of Thursday, March 4 to win my review copy of Creative Unemployment: How To Transcend Job Loss
Free cookies! Check out this deal for free Chips Ahoy!, which involves friending them on Facebook and buying a gallon of milk.
Use this J.Crew coupon code to get an extra 30 percent off final sale items when you spend $100 or more. Ohhhhh, it may be time to finally use my J.Crew gift card.
Get a free Redbox movie rental code good today March 1, 2010, only.
Spend $25 at Bath and Body Works and get $1 shipping today only.
Check out all the deals on my WalletPop blog.
This week’s winner of the $10 Starbucks card is EvieK, who won by sharing great Los Angeles deals on BargainBabeLA.com. Congrats!
Kids eat free every Wednesday at El Torrito. Luuuv their chips and salsa. (Bargain Babe shared this deal.)
Still hungry? All you can eat BBQ is just $12 Monday and Tuesday at Willy’s Smokehouse. I am so there! (Shared by EvieK)
Dodgers tickets are half off for many of their early season games. Great prices for the Anaheim Angels, too!
Put this one on your calender for next weekend. The United Methodist Church in Northridge is holding a massive yard sale going on March 6.
The DLM clothing warehouse is opening its doors again to the public for a massive sale with prices at 80-90 percent below retail. Last time I blogged about DLM there was a huge response.
I don’t have kids and I’m excited about a new site I just learned about called ConsignmentMommies.com, which lists kids consignment sales across the country. The site capitalizes on a newish trend – people buying and selling gently used kids clothing, toys, and gear at massive sales that resemble garage sales on steriods. There are 544 sales listed already.
You can search for sales within 5-100 miles of a particular zip code. A search in my hood resulted in two sales I already knew about and four new ones. Now if only I had kids!
You can post a sale on the site and review sales you’ve been to – all for free. Business listings are for a fee, however. A mother-daughter team launched the site in 2009 and they are still adding features, like a page listing all sales by state.
ConsignmentMommies.com also has a blog with helpful tips. One recent post shared pricing guidelines for maternity and kids clothing:
• Tee shirt $1-2
• Casual Top $3-4
• Dress Top $5
• Jeans $5
• Jean Shorts $2-5
• Shorts $1-4
• Pants $1-4
• Dress pants $3-6
• Casual Dress $3-5
• Dress $5-8
• Suit $10-$15
• Swim Suit $5-10
These sound like great prices to me! One parent I interviewed years ago said she made enough money selling her kid’s old gear, clothing, and toys, to buy what they needed for the next growth spurt. I hope this site helps you find a sale with great prices near you.
My post about whether it is okay to accept money from parents generated some thoughtful – and some angry – comments. So far 134 readers voted in the poll:
- 31 percent would accept money from parents only as a last resort
- 25 percent would do it if it made sense
- 19 percent regularly accept money/in-kind gifts from parents
- 16 percent would never take parental cash
- 7 percent have taken money in the past but don’t plan to again
Reader A resisted judging the situation:
Honestly, I think this is a very loaded topic and can’t easily be summarized in a quick and easy pick on an online poll. There are so many variables that factor into the decision or reality of accepting money from your parents — are you responsible with money yourself? are you parents actually not doing you a service by offering it to you? if eventually they are going to have a few million left when they die, might it be better for them to gift to you over time and now when it could be more helpful? are they giving equally to all the kids in the family? how does your spouse/partner feel about the gifts? I hope everyone realizes that it’s way more complicated a discussion than a quick click of “Are you kidding me? Absolutely not” or “Sure, if it made sense.”
Reader Bob took exception to my blog post, which also ran in the New Jersey Star-Ledger.
The fact that this title even made it into the business section sums up how bad entitlement issues to our children – of all ages – has become. Julia – How about writing an article titled “There’s no shame in moving into a more affordable neighborhood”, “There’s no shame in working a 2nd Job”, “There’ no shame in skipping a vacation”, or “There’s no shame in eating at home on Saturday nights”.
Blakely had a different take:
My inlaws paid for a cruise for my husband and I last year. This trip included my brother-in-law and girlfriend who couldn’t have gone in my inlaws had not paid. My husband had no problem accepting it.
I do believe most of us have accepted help/large gift from our parents at one time or another in our adult life. I think the problem comes when it becomes habitual instead of an occational thing.
Reader Myke says borrowing from parents is the way to go:
When my parents were alive I did deal with “HOME SAVINGS”. When I bought my car they loaned me money. I made up a payment schedule which included interest – usually the mid-point between what the bank wanted for the car loan and what my parents could get for their money leaving it in the bank. It was a win-win situation for both of us. I repaid every cent on time.
If you can’t live on what you make you may need to scale down your lifestyle and expectations. What will you do when your parents are dead and you are stuck paying for a funeral. It will be a very rude awakening for you when you have no inheritance to supplement your spending because you used it all up while your parents were still alive.
Remember, if your parents use up their savings cushion, they may have to move in with YOU!!!
Jenni P. hopes her parents won’t have to borrow from her:
The problem with our society (and why so many readers identify with BB’s website premise of saving money where we can) is that we tend to live beyond our means. My in-laws are in that category, trying to retire but not able to afford their lifestyle if they do. Their “golden” years will be a downsizing event of huge proportions. Their daughter is angry that very little money will be left for her to inherit. I’m not: as long as we don’t end up paying for THEM, we’ll all be happy.
Watch four movies for free with these Blockbuster Express coupons (similar to Redbox).
Clothes for children, babies, and moms-to-be are up to 40 percent off at Old Navy. Plus, you’ll get free shipping with this Old Navy coupon code.
If you like to go on cruises, sign up for a free subscription to Cruise Travel magazine.
The Bev Mo nickel wine sale is on! No coupons or codes needed.
Check out all the deals on my WalletPop blog.
My grandmother could copy a pattern from a dress she tried on in the store and she sewed many of her children’s clothes. The sewing gene skipped my mother (by forceable choice) and landed in me. At least, it tried to.
Two months ago I decided to make my own curtains as part of a project to re-decorate my bedroom. When a coupon for 50 percent off at Jo-Anns fabric store landed in my inbox, I was raring to go. I even had a few dollars on a gift card to apply.
I arrived at the store and was delighted to see nearly everything was on sale by 40 – 50 percent off. I could save my coupon for a regular-priced bolt of material and get other items at a steep discount, too.
I carefully searched the aisles of fabric for the perfect material and discovered wonderful terry cloth for towels that you can buy at a fraction of what the finished product costs at Macy’s or Target. Bath sheets for $5.99 a yard? Sign me up! I also spotted fuzzy flannel for $4.99 a yard. New sheets in no time!
Then I came upon the most steeply marked down fabrics in the store: the discount rack. Some of the material was down right fugly, other pieces were damaged. One bolt was irresistible. For $12.50 (orig. $24.99), I could buy one yard of heaven – a cream-colored piece of suede-lined, fuzzy sherpa goodness. My plan was to turn the material into two pillow coverings. (Pillow insides were 50 percent off, sealing the deal).
I purchased the sherpa material along with 11 yards of brown suede (40 percent off) to make curtains. I ran out of brown thread shortly after starting the curtains so I turned my attention to the pillows. I made as few cuts as possible (reducing my chances of error) and got to work sewing a cozy three-sided enclosure for my pillow, top. On the fourth side I sewed on three buttons, above right (simpler than a zipper, I reasoned).
The material was difficult to work with because it is very thick and the fuzz got caught in the string many times. I didn’t run out of thread, but I did run out of time so the project stretched from Friday night to Sunday afternoon. Overall I spent $25.50 (and forgot to use my gift card 
) to buy two pillows and the pillow cover material. I devoted five hours over three days to completing one pillow.
A waste of time? Me thinks not. The process was very entertaining and I renewed my appreciation for sewers, quilters, and knitters. As for making towels and sheets? I may just wait for a great sale at Target.
Sewing lessons:
- Measure thrice, cut once
- If you don’t have pins to hold material in place, needles will do
- You can undo a lot of stitches, but it’s a total pain in the a**
- Sewing straight lines is actually very difficult
- Lumps mean it was made with love
Zooopreme/Flickr
I’ve gushed before about how cool of a magazine ShopSmart is. The no-ad publication is put out by Consumer Reports so it’s trustworthy and it is geared towards savvy-spenders. When it arrives in my mailbox it’s a little bit of heaven.
The March 2010 issue has a cool story (p. 7) on making new jeans look worn-in. Did you know distressing jeans is a huge part of the cost of designer denim? I didn’t. ShopSmart has s number of tips to get a worn-in designer jean look, which I’ve summarized below:
1. Soften your new jeans by washing them several times with fabric softener and a clean pair of tennis shoes.
2. Don’t over do it. Wear your new jeans around the house to see where they naturally crease, then emphasize those lines with the tricks below. Seams on the side, back pockets, and knees are natural wear spots.
3. If you use bleach, put a layer of plastic wrap in the leg so you don’t get mirror bleach spots on the other side. Place a block of wood other other durable material inside the leg to protect the rest of the fabric.
4. Sandpaper will create a “fuzzy effect” when you rub it on the denim. A pumice stone is also a good tool to wear down spots. A cheese grater will do greater damage, creating rips and snags. Test a small patch, look at the effect, and work slowly.
5. Snip the hem and pocket edges with small scissors to create a frayed look.
6. Change the color of your jeans by lightening with small amounts of bleach (apply with a rag or sponge, ShopSmart says). Or you can darken for a “dirty” look with fabric dye, such as Rit or strong coffee.
7. If you’re not sure what distressed look you want, flip through magazines, fashion websites, or take pictures of jeans you see in stores.
This sounds like such a fun project! I can’t wait to try it on my next pair of jeans. On second thought, I may try some of these techniques on older pairs of jeans that I don’t care much about, then apply my new skills to a new pair.
This could also be a great project for a teen who wants jeans that are 100 percent unique.
Offbeat Photography/Flickr
A friend of mine lives in a part of the country where expenses are so high that nearly every couple works two high-paying jobs and still struggles financially. So how do they get buy?
The answer shocked me – they accept money from their parents.
“It’s not a matter of whether you do or do not accept money from your parents,” she said. “But how much.”
My friend was talking about more than simple birthday or Christmas gifts. For her and her friends, parental cash flow affects the household’s bottom line.
Some parents send a check every month. Others give generously at holidays, provide extensive child care, or pay for entire family vacations. Still other parents pay for school tutition or establish college funds for grand kids.
It can be difficult for grown adults to accept money from parents. Many people turn it down because of pride. Others are held up by particulars. Does there needs to be a written contract? How do you ask for more, or less? Most importantly, is it possible to have “no strings attached”?
A contract is not usually necessary, but depends on what everyone involved is comfortable with. Asking for more or less comes down to explaining the request and being able to accept the answer – and additional strings. Because after the agreement is made, what lingers is the strings.
Financial gifts nearly always come with strings attached. And the bigger the gift, the more strings there are.
For instance, my Mom used to send me $100-$300 every month in college. I had a family credit card for groceries, but everything else was on me – clothes, movies, subway tokens – and the paycheck from my part-time job didn’t go far. There were few strings attached to this money, partly because it was a relatively low dollar amount. (Though it did encourage me to call home every week.)
Years later when Hubby and I prepared to buy a condo, my Mom advanced me a large portion of my inheritance so that I could contribute to the downpayment. We wrote up a simple agreement about the terms and both kept a signed copy. The rules were very clear, which made it easier on both of us. The money came with one very strong string – it was not to be used for anything else.
Some years after the condo advance, my Mom offered another fiscal carrot. If I moved back to California (I remained in New York City after graduating) she would give me her car, worth about $10,000. The money came with a very clear string – a California address – and it was one I was happy to accept.
There is nothing wrong with taking money from parents as long as two conditions exisit. The support has got to benefit both sides (don’t take money from parents who can’t afford it). And both sides must agree to and accept the strings attached.
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